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Being a senior is bittersweet

So far, senior year has been a rollercoaster of emotions.  I did not take everyone’s account of “it goes by fast” into much consideration.  It’s April but I feel like it was just December last week.  The days go by faster and the weeks seem to go by even faster.  Senior year feels like a constant pace that never slows down.  Everytime you turn around, there is a deadline for something whether it is schoolwork or scholarships.  Nonetheless, senior year still has its fun moments like hanging out with friends, attending functions, and going to basketball games.

At least once every week I get random bursts of excitement about college.  I start to look at colleges and their virtual dorm tours.  I also look at YouTube videos from current and past students because it makes me so excited to see what my life would be like if I were to attend these schools.  I also think about all the new friends and opportunities that will be presented to me once I get to college.  My favorite part about college tours is the library.  For some reason I always seem to become motivated once I enter the library from each school.  I love to see the students so focused and determined to complete their school work.

Eventually, I return to reality from my college excitement and start to think about my life at home.  I think about my friends here and how I would no longer be able to hang out with them whenever.  It starts to hit me that we aren’t proceeding to just another level of school, we are actually leaving the state to continue our education in an effort to pursue our dream jobs.  Our 10 minute drive from each other will turn into hour long drives or flights.  I also began to ponder about how I will no longer be a kid waiting to graduate high school or a kid under my parents wing.  I have to start advocating for myself and making decisions on my own without the wisdom or knowledge of my parents.  Honestly, I’m not totally upset about that because it can become a learning experience and teach me how to deal with different problems as I age.  However, as of today I only have 30 days left of school and when I heard my assistant principal say that, I felt my heart sink.  Only 25 days before I officially complete high school and move on to the next phase of my life.

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