Why Don’t Black Men Smile in Pictures?

A few months back on social media I came across a post of DL Hugley discussing why

black men don’t smile in pictures. One comment he made is that “A smile doesn’t work where we come from.”  Black men in America have long been socialized to present a certain image to the world. One of strength, seriousness, and control. Historically, these traits weren’t just admired, they were necessary. In a society where Black men can find themselves disproportionately criminalized, hyper-surveilled, and dehumanized, the “stone face” became a form of emotional armor. Smiling, for a lot of black men, was considered a vulnerability that couldn’t be afforded.

From CHEESE to Cool

I grew up in the 80s and 90s in semi-hood environments. During the crack-era and Hip-

hop culture being in full swing. Presenting yourself as cool and unbothered wasn’t just

fashionable, it was expected. Coolness and toughness was social currency. The

messaging that I mentally processed in those days was  - real men don’t smile. Smiling

was for kids. Smiling meant softness. And softness wasn’t safe. For years, I maintained that stoic look in every photo I took. I could have been laughing

my head off, but the moment that camera was pulled out. I went into a straight non-

emotional face.

It wasn’t until my 30s that I took a picture with a friend of mine.

Afterwards I looked at the picture and what immediately struck me was the image of

our different facial expressions. There I was with my chosen stoic face and he with this

big happy Kool-Aid smile. Like he was happy to be alive!!! As opposed to me with my

fave void of emotion. It was that moment that I found myself pausing and thinking. Re-

evaluating what was going on with this commitment I had maintained all these years to

not smiling in pictures. The next day ironically I was looking at old childhood pictures

where I remember being given the command to, SAY CHEESE!!! There I was, grinning

wide with shameless joy for the camera. I started to realize that, that was more of a

representation of who I was. A fun loving kid. That’s when I started asking: What

happened? How did I go from openly expressing happiness to masking it behind a

hardened stoic expression? While there are many valid and legitimate factors as to what

it is that we as black men are trying to protect with our face card to the world. 

As I reflected about myself on a personal level, something shifted in me. I started thinking about the message I was sending with my facial expression. I asked myself, What do I want people to see when they look at me in a picture? And eventually, I made a

commitment to simply smile. Not because I had to, but because I wanted people to see,

here’s a man who looks like he’s happy to be here. More importantly I want to lead by

example to other black men. It’s ok and safe to smile!

Creating Room for Full Expression

As therapists, we have the opportunity, and responsibility to help our Black male clients

reclaim the full range of their emotional expression. 

That doesn’t mean simply encouraging them to smile more. It means making space for the conversation:

What does your facial expression communicate about who you are?

What are you protecting?

What would it feel like to show joy freely?

These questions can invite deeper reflection and healing. Not just around the act of

smiling, but around identity, safety, and self-worth.