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Writer's pictureAisha Spencer

It’s MY Birthday not Christmas




Growing up I always wanted to change my birthday. Having a birthday so close to Christmas can be totally annoying. Everyone seems to group my birthday with Christmas or forget about it all together. December 23rd is the day I was born but I feel like it’s the forgotten day. It should be a day to celebrate my life and the year to come. However, each year that passes by I find myself not wanting to celebrate it as much.


OMG I love watching/attending birthday parties. Everyone always has their friends and families present and it’s a good time. However, I can never plan a real birthday party for myself. I mean I can but it’s always so hard to get people to show up. With my birthday being so close to Christmas people are usually out of town or have plans with family. I usually just do something low-key and have a game night. I always have a good time but too often I feel like I am missing something. When I turned 40, I wanted to do something really big. I had all these plans in my head, but when I started planning and reaching out to folks, I had more people decline than accept. It broke my heart. My best friend flew out to LA to spend the day with me, and we had a small game night. There were so many people that said they would come to celebrate and as the night went on, I had to accept that they were not coming. I don’t want to make it seem like I have never had an event, but if I have one it always has to be at least a week or two before my birthday to ensure guests can come. This should not be that big of a deal, but it bothers me.


Well let’s talk about the one thing that works my nerve about having a birthday so close to Christmas. My biggest pet peeve is receiving my birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas wrapping. I have had this pet peeve since I was a child. I remember one Christmas Eve at my grandparents’ house my grandmother handed me my birthday gift and I started crying. She was so confused and trying to figure out what went wrong. I was so overwhelmed because I felt heard. My grandparents wrapped my gift in birthday wrapping and said they would make sure they never wrapped my birthday gift in Christmas wrapping. I have had to argue with so many people about this issue. If my birthday was in June, would you wrap my gift in Christmas wrapping. NO YOU WOULD NOT! So please stop doing it to me. Now would I be wrong if I started doing it back to others. I wonder how they would feel. This past Christmas I received a gift wrapped in Christmas wrapping and it said Merry Birthday. I was so upset. Especially because it was done by a family member. I just don’t get why if I tell you it bothers me that you keeps happening. Again, I feel like I don’t matter when people do it to me. Now let’s talk about the issue I have when it comes to taken off from work for my birthday. When asked to put in leave time for the holidays everyone gets upset with me when I want to take off for my “birthday”. I been told by managers that I can’t take off every year at that time because it’s unfair to other co-workers. The problem I have is everyone else gets to put in for holiday time as well as time off for their birthdays but because my birthday is two days before


Christmas, I get told I can’t do it every year. Make it make sense. I was also told by a supervisor that maybe I should celebrate my birthday during another month to make it fair for everyone to take off for the holidays. It took everything out of me not to go off. How dare you tell me I need to celebrate my day during another month to pacify other people. I was so angry. I felt like she was saying I don’t matter. I watch all my other co-workers get time off for their birthdays and nothing is ever said to them, but when it comes to me it’s always an issue. This birthday close to Christmas has always been a struggle for me. I know I should not let it bother me as much but it does. Sometimes I think it would be easier to celebrate at another time but then I think NO GIRL! CELEBRATE YOUR DAY ON YOUR DAY! It’s my birthday not Christmas. Please respect that.


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