Respecting Your Own Boundaries
Yo! For real… Why do I do too much?
I mean, I have this to do… and that to do… and then this was just added on…
I keep saying, “Well I’m going to create some boundaries around my time and communicate them to my family, friends, clients, staff, etc.,”and then, I look up and there are 5 meetings, 4 brunches/dinners, 3 books I need to read, and less time to just sit.
Am I alone out here? I mean, sometimes my hobbies start to feel like responsibilities and time-consuming commitments too. But, I can’t say that it’s external. Nope, I can’t blame it on having two Full-Time jobs, two teenagers, a wife, and all the things… because it’s really about me. It’s really a matter of…
“LaNail, you are crossing your own boundaries!!”
Ugh, but isn’t that the truth. Aren’t I crossing my own boundaries? Aren’t boundaries put up to protect ourselves? But what happens when we need to protect ourselves from ourselves? What happens when our own “good intentions” get in the way of other things we need to do like…REST!? What happens then?
Well, I’ll tell you what happens. BURN OUT!
And then we want to blame everyone else except ourselves because… it’s really on us.
So if I’m out here alone with this one… then cool. This is what I’m going to do, and if you want to do it too, join me on the journey.
Block off- “DO NOTHING” time on my calendar. Yup, we are going to put “DO NOTHING” in big bold letters on our calendar at least 2x a month for at least 1 hour each time. I mean… Imma just sit and chill, look out the window, take a nap, I dunno but I’ll figure it out when my time comes.
I’m going to set a number of meetings I can have per week and per day. I think my sweet spot is four, and then from there, everything has to be pushed back. Yup, it may mean that I’m not going to meet with someone until April but I promise it’ll be worth it because they will get the full version of me and not the burned out version of me. I mean, when we go to a good doctor, don’t we have to wait a few months to get on their schedule? And we wait because it’s worth it. And, I, LaNail, am also worth the wait! Whoa- ain’t that a word honey… I… WE are worth the wait. Our folks will understand and maybe even model this radical self-care too, self-care in planning out and prioritizing our self and downtime.
Yup, that’s it. Just two things. That’s enough for us right now because these two things will require us to shift our thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. For me, the latter will mean I have to shift my feelings of guilt when I feel I am not showing up for people fast enough… but again, this is about me and my feelings.
What is it about for you?