Co-parenting is hard.
Wait…hold up…before you come over here fussing at me because your baby mama or baby daddy just got on your nerves because of a financial issue or scheduling conflict, let me explain myself.
For nearly 19 years (this includes my pregnancy period), I’ve been a co-parent. Which means, I was 22 years old and trying to figure it out. My parents were co-parents (well -ish….) and his parents were also co-parents (-ish...after a divorce). And we thought we would marry each other but clearly, God thought otherwise. He (God) saw fit to keep us in the roles of co-parents and it was the best thing for us. So, here's the context.
And here is how it’s divine.
There are about 6.2 million pregnancies that occur each year. This includes live births, miscarriages, and abortions, but we must also acknowledge that some women become pregnant and miscarry before they even know they are pregnant…and therefore the number is higher. Okay, so here you go: there are about 315,115,888 women and girls between 15- 64 years old, worldwide. And, if we decrease this number to adjust for women who are in menopause (approximately 25 million worldwide) we settle on a number close to: 290,115,888 women and girls who are of childbearing age (yes, I know some girls can have children before age 15…but hey, we have to settle on a number somewhere). And yet, there are only 3.75 million live births per year. Hey, that’s like a 23% equivalency. Less than a quarter….so, how does this occur…if it’s not magic (sure and some science but stay with me here)? So, 23% of the women that can get pregnant and have a live birth….do. And, of these births, 15% are born out of wedlock…. (are you over the numbers yet? Well I’m a nerd so this makes me excited…but I’ll carry on).
Essentially, what I am saying is that approximately 562,500 babies are born each year to…co-parents.
So, let’s not get stuck on some of the other stuff…because that’s for another blog submission. But what I will say is…nobody, spirit, energy, etc. makes 562,000 mistakes each year. It doesn’t happen people.
Those babies, your babies, my babies, the babies we see with their single parent (at the time) are miracles and are supposed to be here. Now, I’m not a pro-life person…I’m all pro-choice. But the fact that these babies were born (in such a small number) is more of a miracle than science, right? I mean, because otherwise the Mom would not have been able to conceive or something would have happened along the way (ex: a miscarriage and I’ve had my horrible share of those so I can relate to the depths of pain that happens and I grieve with you and for you if it has happened to you too).
By now, I’m sure you’re like: And how does this make co-parenting divine?
Well here you go...because you were chosen!
Isn’t it great to be a winner! 😊
You were chosen to be pregnant and have your baby…when you did and with whom you did. If you go back and read above, the chances for you to get pregnant, have a live birth, and raise a child as a single parent are VERY slim…and yet you were chosen to experience this rarity.
You were chosen to be a co-parent.
Now, our society has all sorts of stipulations, taboos, and myths about being a co-parent…and most of those are made up ideas and thoughts that go reinforced by patriarchal societies that wanted to control women and our bodies and make us feel ashamed if we aren’t dependent on a man to be in our lives. But the reality is...none of that outweighs having a baby when it’s your agreed upon (you and the Universe) time.
So instead of looking down on yourself or feeling ashamed, see it as a chance to be a walking, talking, and doing…miracle.
Last thing: In working with all sorts of couples, my favorites are the co-parenting couples. The ones that are not together, no longer together, were never together and so forth. Because, for these couples, they tend to try a tad bit harder to make it work. They say they are “doing it for the child” but it’s really about them…if they acknowledge it or not. Its about the opportunity to get to a clear understanding of how/why they were chosen to be the holders of miracles…and all the lessons and skills they get to learn along the way. Co-parents, just like married parents, have to learn the same exact skills for success…. communication, problem solving, money management, scheduling, compromise, understanding…and the list goes on. But for them…it’s a very conscious choice that they (and we) have to make daily ”for the sake of the kid” (sike…for the sake of themselves and their own ordained purpose in life).
Ok…do you still want to fight me or can we agree that co-parenting is divine?
See ya later alligator!